The Airborne Toxic Event introduces new sound

March 26, 2015

With their latest album Dope Machines, The Airborne Toxic Event sheds its alterna-rock skin and undergoes a musical metamorphosis, resulting in a surprising and exquisite synth-pop sound. Upon first listen, the album may taste bitter to fans and familiars of the band’s traditional work. Machines, however, still manages to succeed as a synth-pop record, despite […]

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Live action Cinderella exceeds expectations

March 26, 2015

Walt Disney Pictures is, quite simply, a cash cow. Not only do they have their Animation Studio films and a partnership with Pixar, they also control two of the biggest franchises in cinema: Marvel and Star Wars. On top of it all, they have slated a series of live action movies. These films are adaptations […]

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New President Eliminates Fox Day

March 26, 2015

      Though the faculty, administrators, and students of Rollins College were originally supportive of the decision of Grant Cornwell as the next president, his recently announced plans have made many reconsider. Most shockingly, Cornwell plans to get rid of Fox Day to save the campus money. “Fox Day is the best. I cannot […]

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George Lucas opens Astronomy College

March 26, 2015

Rollins College is proud to announce the development of a new astronomy college: Lucas College of Astronomy and Engineering, open for student enrollment in Fall 2016. World-renowned filmmaker George Lucas, Hollywood movie director and creator of the Star Wars films, has taken a philanthropic move and funded the school to revitalize the Florida space program. […]

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Sodexo food causes bowel distress

March 26, 2015

They’re moaning, they’re groaning, they’re incessantly loaning their tissue. What’s the deal with these fetal-position-walking-pupils of yours? Sodexo, that’s the deal! Pictures have been anonymously released revealing mixed meat, mystery meat, intestinal residue, guck, and much more behind the scenes of Sodexo. Faced with the flight of innocent employees and an ever-growing scandal, Sodexo has […]

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Astroturf attacks aliens

March 26, 2015

As I am sure many of you have noticed, there are two odd patches of grass on Mills Lawn in front of the Mills Building. Although these may seem like just regular, discolored bits of astro turf, it turns out these ugly patches of grass are serving a greater purpose. Recently, Dr. John Melina in […]

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Where in the World

March 26, 2015

Jerusalem, Israel Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was reelected as the head of the country Likud party. Netanyahu won with a comfortable margin, to the surprise of many, after staying fairly even with his challengers in the poll during the weeks leading up to elections. This marks Netanyahu’s third consecutive term in office since 2009 […]

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