April Fools

Reports of Mr. Rogers seen on campus during alumni weekend

April 1, 2018

It is a not-so-beautiful day in the neighborhood here at Rollins College as student-reported sightings of the late Mr. Rogers pop up across campus. The sightings allegedly began over the course of Alumni Weekend—an event that, apparently, welcomed living and nonliving alumni alike. The first reported sighting was by Mary B. Lud ‘18 on the […]

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Drug-sniffing lizards placed in residential halls

April 1, 2018

As reports of drug use and abuse increase on campus, Rollins is introducing new security measures to ensure that its students remain drug-free. Next year, the campus will introduce drug-sniffing lizards that will live in the residence halls with students. Since last year, a select group of lizards has been trained to sniff out some […]

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Rollins student to star on ‘The Bachelorette’

April 1, 2018

After tirelessly listening to the female student body obsess over ABC’s hit show, The Bachelorette, Rollins has decided to create their own reality TV-based relationship competition. Airing on FOX Media April 10, Jamie Ernst ‘19 will star as the most eligible bachelorette at Rollins College. With glistening blonde hair, daggering blue eyes, and a flawless […]

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Hillary Clinton rigs SGA election, refuses to give up emails

April 1, 2018

The annual election of Student Government Association (SGA) President and Vice President has taken a turn in 2018 with a surprise winner. Though the race appeared to be between candidates Nagina Chaudhry and Greg Taicher against Nam Nguyen and Max Zarudnyy, neither team has emerged victorious. Instead, this year’s winner was a write-in: Hillary Clinton. […]

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President revealed as three small children in a trench coat

April 1, 2018

This week, the students and faculty of Rollins discovered the shocking truth about their very own President Cornwell. After taking a tumble during one of his usual strolls around campus, surrounding students and staff found that he was not one man, but three children in disguise. The children, whose real names are being kept secret […]

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Rollins receives alumni donation to repaint Mills Lawn

April 1, 2018

In addition to Rollins’ numerous ongoing capital campaigns, the school has recently received a $40 Million donation to repaint every single blade of grass on Mills Lawn the world’s most luxurious shade of green. The donation comes from an anonymous alumnus who hopes to attract more students to the school. The lawn, sorry, the green, […]

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New Black Box Theatre to be just an actual black box

April 1, 2018

After the Fred Stone Theatre was officially condemned last weekend, it has been decided by Facilities and the upper administration that the Theatre department’s new black box theatre will just be a 3’x3’x6’ cardboard refrigerator box that will be spray painted black sometime in the next 5 to 10 years. This decision has been met […]

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Theatre of cruelty: the new neighborhood nightmare

March 30, 2017

In an unsurprising turn of events, changes have recently been made to the Neighborhoods system. More department-specific requirements will be added to the curriculum, which currently requires students to take classes in the humanities, sciences, social sciences, and arts. Students will now have to take one Neighborhood class in the theater, English, and chemistry departments […]

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One editor to rule them all

March 30, 2017

The Sandspur office was recently ravaged by swordfight between current editor-in-chief Lauren Waymire ’17 and production manager/former editor-in-chief Micah Bradley ‘17, who were engaged in a battle for supremacy over the paper. Though the office normally has a relaxed atmosphere, the two Sandspur leaders have been passive-aggressively copyediting each other’s work for weeks. Tensions had […]

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Rollins students fight for new newspaper title

April 6, 2016

First drafted by two starry-eyed freshmen, the recent petition to rename The Sandspur is in full swing.  Much to our editor-in-chief’s chagrin, the students at Rollins College seem never to have heard of the motto “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” In all honesty, some of our newer readers have complained of extreme discomfort […]

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