The Sandspur

Issue date: 4/1/05 Section: Arts & Entertainment

Media Credit: COURTESY OF IMDB.COM

In court this week, Michael Jackson confessed some very personal information about his reproductive organ. Jackson admitted to having surgery right after his child was born to remove his penis.

Apparently, Jackson's defense attorneys strongly felt that the information would prove his innocence."How in the world could this boy have touched Jackson's penis if he doesn't have one," said Jackson's attorney, Luke Perry. "It is obvious the boy is lying."

Skeptics of the argument want proof that Jackson really had his penis removed. Prosecutors asked Jackson if he would show the jury the area where the penis once was located. Jackson's eyes began to water.

"How dare you ask me to reveal such thing," Jackson said furiously. "How would you like it if I asked to see your winky." Supposedly, Jackson had his penis removed because his skin disease was causing a deformation that was causing problems with his ability to urinate.

"Usually my patients are transsexuals," said Jackson's doctor, Dr. Jeckol, in court. "However, I do get some people who need to have their penises removed because of health reasons."

Michael Jackson's fans are becoming more and more disgusted by his strange lifestyle. Those who used to dance to his tunes in the 80's, now laugh at him on T.V."First, the guy switched races, then, he got accused of child-molestation, now he is a transsexual?" said ex-Jackson fan, Lee Conroy, after pausing from laughing. "What a freak."

If Jackson proves that he did not have a penis when the boy accused him of showing him his penis, then the case will be dismissed. Revealing his personal information, may have gotten him out of jail-time. However, which is worst, jail-time or the immense embarrassment Jackson will feel for the rest of his life?

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