The Sandspur

Issue date: 4/1/05 Section: Arts & Entertainment

Media Credit: Brian Hernandez PARTY ANIMALS: Be sure to stop by the Ward elevator and join in on the fun, open 24 hours a day, 7 nights a week.

Ever feel like you're going nowhere? Stuck in one place? Can't seem to climb to the next level?

If so, you need to take a trip to the Ward elevator. The Ward elevator is a delightful trip that will leave you feeling uplifted. Complete with floor number buttons, door close and open buttons, and a shiny stainless steel interior, the Ward elevator will fulfill all of your travel needs within the confines of Ward Hall.

This elevator is not simply a mode of transportation, however. A variety of activities take place in this marvelous location. One such activity is getting really drunk and riding the elevator up and down (puking is optional). Another includes riding the elevator to the top and trying to finish urinating before you get there. Just ask any Wardian for details on the schedule of these activities.

The best part about this closet-sized box of fun is that it is right on the Rollins campus. No need to find someone with a car and drive all over the greater Orlando area looking for something to do on a Saturday night. No need to go to a club for a mind-boggling good time. Just dress to the nines and head over to Ward for a trip in their elevator.

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