The Sandspur

Issue date: 4/1/05 Section: News

Media Credit: Brian Hernandez

Announcing his decision as a last resort, President Bush signed a proclamation of war with Canada after months of tension between the United States and its northern neighbor.

Conflict commenced in December, after a member of Canada's cabinet allegedly called President Bush "a Hick who weaseled his way into the White House."

The comment, which the Canadian government never formally apologized for, sent shock waves through the United States, which prompted an embargo on U.S.-Canadian trade.

Prime Minister Martin, a former ally to the Bush Administration, taunted the U.S. by commenting that Americans couldn't survive without their beloved imported prescription drugs.

At one last attempt to compromise their differences, President Bush sent Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to compromise with the Canadians in late February. This encounter came to an early end when an angry Canadian mob hurled rocks, sticks, and coins at Secretary Rice, almost overturning the vehicle she rode in.

Interpreting these actions as a challenge to the U.S., Bush declared his ambitions to invade Canada, usurp the country's long-standing and efficient government, and gain plenty of new U.S. territory on which to expand.

When questioned about Canada's many oil reserves, President Bush denied any ulterior motives for the invasion. Nevertheless, the United Nations has threatened to remove the U.S. from the international alliance if they decide to proceed with the attack.

However, there remains no indication that President Bush will concede to the demands of U.N.

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