The Sandspur

Issue date: 4/22/05 Section: Life & Times

Somehow, near the end of my junior year in high school, I had gotten involved in the best relationship in which I had ever been. I was dating a boy who was two years younger, a freshman.

Despite the social taboo of the relationship, I couldn't have been happier. Ian was the most mature 15-year-old I'd ever met. He spoke well and treated everyone with much respect. He seemed to be perfect for me. However, every relationship has its downfalls. For a week, I had been arguing with Ian about random faults of our relationship. I locked myself in my room during a long, particularly horrible fight, misery taking charge as I feel my relationship with him flying out of the window, and I challenged him, "Why don't you just break up with me?"

I am not sure if I actually wanted him to break up with me, but I figured I would give him the option. I did not want to be rude to him, but I felt myself doing so anyway. I knew I did not want to break up with him, but I knew that I would not have dealt well with someone treating me the way I had treated him in the past week.

Instead of returning with an impatient or mean reply, my ever-so-patient boyfriend replied, "Can I tell you a story?"

I decided to quell my anger for the moment and let him start his story. I was not sure it would save our relationship. I was not even sure that I knew the reason I was so mad at Ian. He prefaced his story with an explanation of some old Asian beliefs.

He told me about the old Indian principle that said a person was either able to walk when he or she was born, or the person was crippled for his or her entire life. In this context, he started a Buddhist story, almost as if he was beginning a guided meditation:

"A long time ago, the Buddha was going on a long journey across the desert. He wanted a partner to go with him, and his only requirement was that the person should be able to walk. After looking around the small village, the Buddha finally found a young man who wished to make the same journey across the desert. Before leaving, the Buddha wanted to ensure that the man could walk and so he asked the man while they were gathering traveling supplies, 'Can you walk?'

"The man assured the Buddha, 'I can walk.'

"They started the extensive trip on foot, as they would travel for the rest of the time. Soon enough, the man traveling with the Buddha put his foot down wrong and twisted his ankle. He tried to walk on it but realized that he wouldn't be able to walk for long distances for a while. Feeling quite upset at being injured so early in the trip, he told the Buddha, 'Please, go on without me. I don't want to hold you up.'

Continued...

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