2008 Woodie Awards
Ask The Fox
Issue date: 10/28/05 Section: Life & Times
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I'm really confused. I've been dating this guy for a year now, and the giggly feelings from the beginning are starting to fade. I'm really worried because I love him, but does this mean I'm not in love with him anymore? Maybe I don't even know what love is. Can you help me? What is love? How do I know when I'm in love? I've heard people say "you just know," but that doesn't help me much. I'm so lost.
~Possibly In Love?
Dear Possibly In Love,
Love is a really complicated thing. It's a word that is easily thrown around in our culture today. You can love your family, your boyfriend, your pet, pizza, and the list could go on forever. However, I don't believe there is one clear definition for what love really is. What I can do, is give you my interpretation of it.
In my opinion, love is something you do for someone else. It's an action. It's wanting that person to be in your life in good times and in bad. It's being completely open and honest, and trusting them 100%. It's above jealously. Love is wanting to rush home and tell them everything that just happened, even if it isn't that significant - just because you'll know they care and want to hear about your day. Love is being best friends, companions, sounding boards, and so much more all at once. It's putting someone else's happiness above yours.
To sum it up, love is the little things you do to make your significant other happy, even when you sometimes don't feel like it.
In my opinion, there are stages of love. The first stage you go through is the infatuation, honeymoon stage: the stage where you experience those wonderful butterflies and giggles you were talking about. Then, when your relationship grows and matures, which all successful relationships do, the butterflies tend to fade, and a comfort sets in. That's not to say that the butterflies go away completely, however. At special moments, you'll experience them. So, when you least expect it, you'll get those wonderful feelings again.
Every relationship is different. Some experience butterflies all the time, throughout the entire relationship. Some fall into the comfort faze very fast. It all depends on what you're happy with. If you are happy in your relationship the way it is - without butterflies and giggles constantly - then you don't need to worry. If you need the butterflies, which some people do and it's completely fine, then you probably need to change up your relationship a little. Such as, going on more dates, adding more romance, etc. Talk to your boyfriend to get a feel for how he feels. Good luck.
~Daisy Fox