2008 Woodie Awards
The Officious Ombudsman: The Senate's Been Hijacked!
Plamegate Bowls through Bush Administration
Issac Stolzenbach
Issue date: 11/4/05 Section: Opinions
- Page 1 of 1
There's a slew of poo in the headlines this week--I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby dove on the Plamegate grenade; Karl Rove, aka Turd Blossom, still smells like a rose; Bush uses Scotus pick to clear the headlines . . . business as usual in Washington--but it seems the Democrats are finally growing a backbone. Finally!
Senate minority leader, Harry Reid, took a Howard Dean-type stand on November 1st and forced a close session of the Senate. All nonessential personnel were escorted out of the building and the doors to the Senate were closed.
Reid justified his fervor before the closure, "The Libby indictment provides a window into what this is really about, how this administration manufactured and manipulated intelligence in order to sell the war in Iraq and attempted to destroy those who dared to challenge its actions."
Surprised by the swift and aggressive move by Reid, Republicans fell back on their usual activity of trying to convince the public that the Democrats are on the fringe; using dramatics rather than answering the tough questions. Drama queen and Senate majority leader, Bill Frist embodies this notion, "The United States Senate has been hijacked by the Democratic leadership . . . they have no convictions, they have no principles, they have no ideas."
Indeed . . . they have no ideas, huh? Seems to me they have a great idea: Finally exposing the real deal behind the Valerie Plame case; America fighting a war based on fabricated intelligence.
The Democrat's request for an investigation came about last May after the secret "Downing Street Memos" from Britain revealed that President Bush was set on war with Iraq with or without justification.
From the memo of 23 July 2003: Bush wanted to remove Saddam, through military action, justified by the conjunction of terrorism and WMD. But the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy.
Republicans were backed into a corner and instructed to answer why six months have passed--without answer or action--since Democrats requested an investigation into the intelligence that brought the United States into war with Iraq.
Funny how Intelligence Committee Chairman, Republican Senator Pat Roberts, let the investigation requests sit stagnant on his "to-do list." Funny a Republican would do that, real funny . . . like funnybone funny . . . funny like we have a war crime president sitting in the White House with no party having enough backbone to dethrone the little monkey. I can see him up there farting and giggling at himself as he flings his feces at the television.
War Crimes, monkeyboy, pure and simple: the invasion of one sovereign nation by another without justification is a war crime. By the time the full force of Plamegate bowls through your administration there won't be any of your buddies left to pardon you. And you know what that means . . . .
That means Laura's replacement will be a mountain of masculinity named "Bubba," and after he's done making you his life-partner you'll have to wear a butterfly clip across your mudring to keep your guts from falling out. You will repeatedly ask him to remove his rings, and then sit rankled and shivering in the corner of the shower room when you find out it was actually his watch leaving your innards ripped and scarred.
This administration is doomed, I just hope we have enough pride and spirit left in us after this fiasco to pick up and piece together our great nation. Better dig in folks, the fight for America has just begun.
Senate minority leader, Harry Reid, took a Howard Dean-type stand on November 1st and forced a close session of the Senate. All nonessential personnel were escorted out of the building and the doors to the Senate were closed.
Reid justified his fervor before the closure, "The Libby indictment provides a window into what this is really about, how this administration manufactured and manipulated intelligence in order to sell the war in Iraq and attempted to destroy those who dared to challenge its actions."
Surprised by the swift and aggressive move by Reid, Republicans fell back on their usual activity of trying to convince the public that the Democrats are on the fringe; using dramatics rather than answering the tough questions. Drama queen and Senate majority leader, Bill Frist embodies this notion, "The United States Senate has been hijacked by the Democratic leadership . . . they have no convictions, they have no principles, they have no ideas."
Indeed . . . they have no ideas, huh? Seems to me they have a great idea: Finally exposing the real deal behind the Valerie Plame case; America fighting a war based on fabricated intelligence.
The Democrat's request for an investigation came about last May after the secret "Downing Street Memos" from Britain revealed that President Bush was set on war with Iraq with or without justification.
From the memo of 23 July 2003: Bush wanted to remove Saddam, through military action, justified by the conjunction of terrorism and WMD. But the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy.
Republicans were backed into a corner and instructed to answer why six months have passed--without answer or action--since Democrats requested an investigation into the intelligence that brought the United States into war with Iraq.
Funny how Intelligence Committee Chairman, Republican Senator Pat Roberts, let the investigation requests sit stagnant on his "to-do list." Funny a Republican would do that, real funny . . . like funnybone funny . . . funny like we have a war crime president sitting in the White House with no party having enough backbone to dethrone the little monkey. I can see him up there farting and giggling at himself as he flings his feces at the television.
War Crimes, monkeyboy, pure and simple: the invasion of one sovereign nation by another without justification is a war crime. By the time the full force of Plamegate bowls through your administration there won't be any of your buddies left to pardon you. And you know what that means . . . .
That means Laura's replacement will be a mountain of masculinity named "Bubba," and after he's done making you his life-partner you'll have to wear a butterfly clip across your mudring to keep your guts from falling out. You will repeatedly ask him to remove his rings, and then sit rankled and shivering in the corner of the shower room when you find out it was actually his watch leaving your innards ripped and scarred.
This administration is doomed, I just hope we have enough pride and spirit left in us after this fiasco to pick up and piece together our great nation. Better dig in folks, the fight for America has just begun.