2008 Woodie Awards
All Crummy Students Get Reserved Parking Spaces On-Campus
Melinda Green
Issue date: 3/31/06 Section: Crummer News
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As many of you may know, parking during the day is generally reserved for faculty members and visitors, but after an extensive dialogue between the Rollins and Crummy administrations, Crummy students will now have the exclusive right to park in the three areas closest to the building: the gym, the President's lot, and in front of Crummy Hall.
More and more students have been showing up to class late, offering excuses like "It took me 10 minutes to find a parking space" and "I saw Dr. [name withheld] slyly trying to park in a student spot." Faculty members increasingly voiced frustration at these students until one day a fight broke out.
According to the student, who wishes to remain anonymous but whose initials are B.S., "I don't see why all the professors need parking spaces anyway. It's not like they are rushing to get to class like I am. Those guys always get to school early, so how's the 3 minute walk from the parking garage going to hurt them?"
According to decision makers, the rationale for extending the privilege to Crummy students is because it is the smallest group on campus and thus the only one that could be covered completely-plus they wanted to be nice. The real reason, however, is because after graduating, "Crummys" give the most money and time back to the school.
More and more students have been showing up to class late, offering excuses like "It took me 10 minutes to find a parking space" and "I saw Dr. [name withheld] slyly trying to park in a student spot." Faculty members increasingly voiced frustration at these students until one day a fight broke out.
According to the student, who wishes to remain anonymous but whose initials are B.S., "I don't see why all the professors need parking spaces anyway. It's not like they are rushing to get to class like I am. Those guys always get to school early, so how's the 3 minute walk from the parking garage going to hurt them?"
According to decision makers, the rationale for extending the privilege to Crummy students is because it is the smallest group on campus and thus the only one that could be covered completely-plus they wanted to be nice. The real reason, however, is because after graduating, "Crummys" give the most money and time back to the school.