2008 Woodie Awards
The Wicker Man is a Basket Case
JD Casto
Issue date: 9/11/06 Section: Arts & Entertainment
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The Wicker Man was not screened for critics in the U.S. and after seeing the film, I can understand why. Nicolas Cage plays a cop who ventures to a private island in search for his ex-fiancé's (Kate Beahan) daughter. This island has been isolated from the outside world for ages.
For those of you who intend on wasting your money on this film, do not read the next paragraph, for it contains spoilers that may ruin your movie experience.
Summersisle is an island dominated and ruled by crazy psycho-Nazi women - and you think I'm kidding. Cage finds out the hard way that he has no power or authority on this island. He tries relentlessly to find this girl who he later finds out is his daughter. Cage in the span of 106 minutes starts popping antidepressants like M&Ms, is trapped in a Crypt, stung by hundreds of bees, and burnt alive in a giant man made of wicker. Though the twist at the end was not expected, according to viewers interviewed after the film, "a clown could have popped out of nowhere and said, 'Happy Birthday,' and I would have been just as surprised and it would have made just as little sense."
Hollywood producers tend to have an obsession with ruining good movies by remaking them. There has been a large lack of creativity in recent years, but you can't blame directors or writers. You have to blame producers. Hollywood wonders why the box office is suffering, sadly it's because there are producers out there making awful movies like The Wicker Man.
Writer Neil LaBute adapted the 1973 screenplay that Anthony Shaffer skillfully wrote years ago. Shaffer was offered a part in writing the new script, but he declined the offer. The writing was awful. There's nothing positive to say about it. The second line in the movie was so poorly written; I could tell that I was in for a long 106 minutes of pain.
Besides Nicolas Cage, there were three other widely known actors: Ellen Burstyn (Requiem for a Dream, The Book of Daniel), James Franco (Spider Man, Tristan & Isolde), and Leelee Sobieski (Glass House, Joan of Arc). Burstyn played Sister Summersisle, who in the original was played by Christopher Lee and was called Lord Summersisle.
For those of you who intend on wasting your money on this film, do not read the next paragraph, for it contains spoilers that may ruin your movie experience.
Summersisle is an island dominated and ruled by crazy psycho-Nazi women - and you think I'm kidding. Cage finds out the hard way that he has no power or authority on this island. He tries relentlessly to find this girl who he later finds out is his daughter. Cage in the span of 106 minutes starts popping antidepressants like M&Ms, is trapped in a Crypt, stung by hundreds of bees, and burnt alive in a giant man made of wicker. Though the twist at the end was not expected, according to viewers interviewed after the film, "a clown could have popped out of nowhere and said, 'Happy Birthday,' and I would have been just as surprised and it would have made just as little sense."
Hollywood producers tend to have an obsession with ruining good movies by remaking them. There has been a large lack of creativity in recent years, but you can't blame directors or writers. You have to blame producers. Hollywood wonders why the box office is suffering, sadly it's because there are producers out there making awful movies like The Wicker Man.
Writer Neil LaBute adapted the 1973 screenplay that Anthony Shaffer skillfully wrote years ago. Shaffer was offered a part in writing the new script, but he declined the offer. The writing was awful. There's nothing positive to say about it. The second line in the movie was so poorly written; I could tell that I was in for a long 106 minutes of pain.
Besides Nicolas Cage, there were three other widely known actors: Ellen Burstyn (Requiem for a Dream, The Book of Daniel), James Franco (Spider Man, Tristan & Isolde), and Leelee Sobieski (Glass House, Joan of Arc). Burstyn played Sister Summersisle, who in the original was played by Christopher Lee and was called Lord Summersisle.
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