2008 Woodie Awards
Love, Life, Laughter and Lies - Never Settle
Issue date: 2/12/07 Section: Opinions
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As I reflected upon previous infatuations, those silly crushes and lost love, I began to realize that my severe lack of relationship experience could be due to the
fact that I serially, and adamantly,but perhaps unconsciously, want to settle down with those who are in no way interested in settling down with me. What sort of
masochistic addiction is this, you say? One that perpetuates in a seemingly endless cycle, of course.
It seems that there is a surplus of those "just friends" that are amazing in every way possible - funny, sweet, cute, caring, kind, giving, you know who I'm talking about - except that you can in no way wrap your head around dating the said and nearly flawless soul.
Then there are those kids that you relentlessly convince yourself are perfect, you know, except for that minute detail of
which concerns the fact that they are in no way wanting to commit to you.
Why then do you have a long but unworkable list of the willing but relationship-wise unattractive, separate from a list of those that seduce you into entertaining the notion of settling down? And what exactly makes this settling so paramount, besides the obvious and mandatory removal from the
singles pot?
Settling down refers to that point in which you think you may have found someone that
complements you to the point that no one else matters. If someone is making you consider the possibility of limiting your
physical adventures to them and only them, well that seems like kind of a big deal. That got me thinking about the word settle.
Could it be that I am commitment repulsive or do we really have to settle to get what we want?
When we finally commit to someone, are we making a commitment to someone that we
truly care about or are we taking the best we can get of what's currently out there? Settling. In itself it means you are sacrificing something.
However, in return for security do we need to lower our standards? In evaluation,
and a little personal reflection, I carefully and very systematically compared my own list of potential-relationship-wouldbe's, if they would have indeed actually had me.
fact that I serially, and adamantly,but perhaps unconsciously, want to settle down with those who are in no way interested in settling down with me. What sort of
masochistic addiction is this, you say? One that perpetuates in a seemingly endless cycle, of course.
It seems that there is a surplus of those "just friends" that are amazing in every way possible - funny, sweet, cute, caring, kind, giving, you know who I'm talking about - except that you can in no way wrap your head around dating the said and nearly flawless soul.
Then there are those kids that you relentlessly convince yourself are perfect, you know, except for that minute detail of
which concerns the fact that they are in no way wanting to commit to you.
Why then do you have a long but unworkable list of the willing but relationship-wise unattractive, separate from a list of those that seduce you into entertaining the notion of settling down? And what exactly makes this settling so paramount, besides the obvious and mandatory removal from the
singles pot?
Settling down refers to that point in which you think you may have found someone that
complements you to the point that no one else matters. If someone is making you consider the possibility of limiting your
physical adventures to them and only them, well that seems like kind of a big deal. That got me thinking about the word settle.
Could it be that I am commitment repulsive or do we really have to settle to get what we want?
When we finally commit to someone, are we making a commitment to someone that we
truly care about or are we taking the best we can get of what's currently out there? Settling. In itself it means you are sacrificing something.
However, in return for security do we need to lower our standards? In evaluation,
and a little personal reflection, I carefully and very systematically compared my own list of potential-relationship-wouldbe's, if they would have indeed actually had me.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Richard Spalding
posted 2/12/07 @ 5:30 PM EST
When I read the article regarding the formation of an advocacy group that supports vitims of sexual assault/harrassment I thought bravo. this is something that I could actually get behind. (Continued…)
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