2008 Woodie Awards
Huge Tuition Raise Next Semester
Steve Schwartz
Issue date: 4/4/08 Section: News
"If there is a will, there is a way," said Rollins College President Lewis Duncan when asked how students are expected to handle a $9,500 tuition increase effective in the fall.
Recent significant investments in the renovation of various Rollins facilities as well as the summer plan to tear down and rebuild McKean Hall have called for a hefty sum from students. These plans, however, are nothing more than the tip of the iceberg. President Duncan's agenda, recently been deemed "Bigger, Better, Snazzier Rollins" entails a great deal of other sub-plans.
Many students are enraged by the new plan. "Wait a minute, what?" said sophomore Eric Short, "Dolphins?" Several students who struggle to afford the tuition as it stands are already making plans to transfer. President Duncan is certainly unmoved by such threats. "Everyone is replaceable. The plan is called 'Bigger, Better Rollins.' We could use some bigger and better students."
Of course, the agenda could not have possibly been constructed on a whim, nor is the plan without precedent. When asked about moving the soccer field, Duncan replied, "The soccer field's grass is much easier to water lakeside."
He was stone-faced after the follow up question regarding how the school could possibly need more money for canceling Fox Day. "The faculty has arranged with the companies that assist with Fox Day with a 'payment in advance' system. Since it has been decided to cancel Fox Day in the future years, we now must pay these companies to cancel contracts."
The number of students enrolled in the 2012 class has dropped dramatically from 492 to 97. Studies have shown that tuition increases of 20 percent for a single year beginning above $35,000, while virtually nonexistent, will drop around 46 percent of current enrollment. It is projected that the Rollins College student body will consist of 1,080 students this fall, and will decrease exponentially.
"How could President Duncan let this happen?" asked an anonymous crazed parent. "It just isn't right. It truly isn't right." A disgusted Allie Meberg, one of the many planning on leaving after this semester showed as much class as possible regarding the President's agenda during an interview.
"Well, it is what it is. The tuition increase is a little bizarre, and the reasons are as well, but you just have to deal with it." She paused and later declared under her breath, "The prez is
an idiot."
Everyone will certainly have to make sacrifices in response to the price of tuition. For some, it means radically smart budgeting. For others, it means leaving the school altogether. Whatever the consequences for our president's decision, he seems completely firm with the plan and
confident with Rollins' future.
After the interview, he made sure to note one last comment concerning the outlandish idea: "Happy belated April Fools Day."
Recent significant investments in the renovation of various Rollins facilities as well as the summer plan to tear down and rebuild McKean Hall have called for a hefty sum from students. These plans, however, are nothing more than the tip of the iceberg. President Duncan's agenda, recently been deemed "Bigger, Better, Snazzier Rollins" entails a great deal of other sub-plans.
Many students are enraged by the new plan. "Wait a minute, what?" said sophomore Eric Short, "Dolphins?" Several students who struggle to afford the tuition as it stands are already making plans to transfer. President Duncan is certainly unmoved by such threats. "Everyone is replaceable. The plan is called 'Bigger, Better Rollins.' We could use some bigger and better students."
Of course, the agenda could not have possibly been constructed on a whim, nor is the plan without precedent. When asked about moving the soccer field, Duncan replied, "The soccer field's grass is much easier to water lakeside."
He was stone-faced after the follow up question regarding how the school could possibly need more money for canceling Fox Day. "The faculty has arranged with the companies that assist with Fox Day with a 'payment in advance' system. Since it has been decided to cancel Fox Day in the future years, we now must pay these companies to cancel contracts."
The number of students enrolled in the 2012 class has dropped dramatically from 492 to 97. Studies have shown that tuition increases of 20 percent for a single year beginning above $35,000, while virtually nonexistent, will drop around 46 percent of current enrollment. It is projected that the Rollins College student body will consist of 1,080 students this fall, and will decrease exponentially.
"How could President Duncan let this happen?" asked an anonymous crazed parent. "It just isn't right. It truly isn't right." A disgusted Allie Meberg, one of the many planning on leaving after this semester showed as much class as possible regarding the President's agenda during an interview.
"Well, it is what it is. The tuition increase is a little bizarre, and the reasons are as well, but you just have to deal with it." She paused and later declared under her breath, "The prez is
an idiot."
Everyone will certainly have to make sacrifices in response to the price of tuition. For some, it means radically smart budgeting. For others, it means leaving the school altogether. Whatever the consequences for our president's decision, he seems completely firm with the plan and
confident with Rollins' future.
After the interview, he made sure to note one last comment concerning the outlandish idea: "Happy belated April Fools Day."
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