First drafted by two starry-eyed freshmen, the recent petition to rename The Sandspur is in full swing. Much to our editor-in-chief’s chagrin, the students at Rollins College seem never to have heard of the motto “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
In all honesty, some of our newer readers have complained of extreme discomfort upon first hearing the name.
“The Sandspur? That’s the name of the school newspaper?” Joseph Jworsik ‘16 said. “You mean like that thing that… like… gets caught on your sock when you walk outside? I really hate those things.”
Controversy over the new name continues to grow. Administration seems to be in favor some of the more sophisticated options, among them the classic, What in ‘TarNation. Even this is a better option than some of the other, more “original” titles: The Skipper, Magic Eight, and The SandBar—and, yes, that is “Bar” with a capital B. To some of the older faculty, these suggestions are reminiscent of sleazy local pubs with questionable reputations.
The title Newspaper has also amassed a decent following, followed closely by the simpler and, I must say, bolder Paper.
Slandspur is also a potential option and has been adopted by the school newspaper previously in special satirical issues.
One question remains: does the title of our school newspaper need replacing?
No one has ever once considered renaming the Deceleration of Independence, so why consider changing The Sandspur, a title that goes back 120 years?
At the current climate, however, we may all be writing for a less-established version of The Sandspur. It seems that at this point, we can only hope that someone comes up with a better name than Newspaper.
“April Fools’! The content on this page is meant to be read as satire and in no way reflects the views of The Sandspur, its staff or Rollins College.”