Rolly Colly code made simple

August 22, 2014 Features

It takes most in-coming students months to get a good feel for what happens on their college campus. Well, we made it easy for you. You’re welcome.

What is college? Are you sure that you do not know already? Because Asher Roth and Anna Kendrick are not the first masterminds to try to emulate the experience. You have drinks, you make mistakes (the two usually come hand-in-hand), and you have a lot of learning to do that happens equally in and out of the classroom. As a freshman at Rollins College, composing this on the eve before my year draws to a sudden close, I know I am a different person because of these past months. Not just because they happened, but also because they happened here. Deciphering the Rolly Colly code can be a conundrum, but once you do, you will find it to be a lot easier than ordering at Starbucks.

Below you will find 40 key points to guide you through this journey. God speed, Baby Tar

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      1. You will know the Domino’s guy. He will not need to look at your R-card anymore. No, you and Roger will be on a first name basis.
      2. The Bookmark Café is one of the only things that will keep you alive during finals week because, yeah, you can order four shots of espresso at once. And yeah, you might fidget a little. That is fine.
      3. The Wellness Center gets as crowded as Fids during flu season.
      4. You are going to get the illnesses of your neighbors because you are in college: strep, bronchitis, the plague. Live it and love it. It builds character and white blood cells.

      5. You will receive 3 am.. calls, texts, Snapchats, and carrier pigeons from friends on nights when you are as sober as your bio professor. Once you respond, you will be playing the role of parent until approximately 7:19 a.m.
      6. Or . . . you will jump to their side and you will all stumble in around 8:45 a.m., just in time for your 9 a.m. PERRRFECT.
      7. If you fall asleep in a class without a friend, nobody is going to wake you. That can be a blessing and a curse.
      8. The pillow room sounded cool until you realized it is just sketchy.

      9. Fox Day Roulette—the risky business of procrastinating in apprehension of a dirty statue on Mills Lawn—will turn you into an erratic, sleepless, impatient, revolutionist. First, you will laugh at these people, but then you will look in the mirror and at your workload, and realize that you, too, are playing the game. You always have been.
      10. Post Fox Day Syndrome (PFDS) is real. It begins with fatigue, confusion, depleted GB, and the realization of a painfully anti-climactic week/month/semester. Phones, sunglasses, and dignities may be collected somewhere in the Atlantic.
      11. Campus safety can and will remember you. WHOOPS.

      12. Being in a clique and being in a sorority or fraternity is not the same thing. But, we do have both. Like every campus.
      13. The President is as elusive as Waldo. Where is he?
      14. House parties and clubs both offer pros and cons. Do not ever expect to ‘chill’ at either. There is always going to be someone trying to sit on your lap and jam to Avicii.
      15. Do not confuse the crowd at Fid’s as Rollins exclusives. It is a pub where people know college kids go. This equates to plenty of graduated students loitering and being’ creepy and not even Irish.
      16. Do not be surprised to hear sentiments such as “MY FAMILY PAYS FOR ME TO GO HERE; WHERE ARE THE GOLDEN SPORKS” echoing through Dave’s Down Under—or anywhere, for that matter.
      17. The C-store is a Godsend: it is a grocery store, mingling point, restaurant, hiding place, time saver, karaoke spot, and so much more. In the C-store we trust.
      18. The guys at the post office are the happiest people ever. Like, they are in Mills with all these boxes, in a dinghy mail room, and they are always down to make you laugh. Who would have thought?
      19. That line during Convocation about how “you all will never all be together in one room again,” it is true. Way too true. Appreciate each day.
      20. Freshman year makes us all desperate. “Let’s eat lunch together sometime.” “Can I get your number?” “You should come by on Friday.” “Wanna get in my selfie?” Everyone is so friendly, a.k.a. intimidated during the first few weeks, that reaching out is absolutely acceptable.
      21. Within one week, you will probably have gone through the whole campus on Tinder.

      22. You will soon be nauseous at the thought of BurgerFi. And pizza. Just kidding; pizza is the best.
      23. If you ever calculate how much it costs for each class you miss, that should be enough to get you out of bed in the morning. But, some days, you just. . .cannot.
      24. Do not sleep through your alarm on SPARC day and be woken up by Campus Safety. And do not then bolt across campus, panting as you arrive by Alfond in five minutes flat to jump on the bus to be interrogated by your professor. Because it is incredibly embarrassing.
      25. We technically have two mascots, which could make us either twice as awesome or half as decisive. Let us go with both.
      26. Also, the word “peasant” is quite funny, when used ironically, and even funnier when used as an insult. If you are using it as the latter, then you certainly need to reeducate yourself because you are still in the 16th Century and probably need a tuberculosis vaccine, too.
      27. Stop going out every night when you cannot even wear pants during the day. That is not cool; that is sad.
      28. The skinniest friend runs out of R-Card money first. We do not know why. It is one of our greatest mysteries, but we must accept it.

      29. The phrase “get involved” is so cliché and boring. Instead, “try things.” Go to every meeting you can, attend events or speeches you are interested in, and find groups with similar career or social goals. Either way, be yourself and then some. Explore until you find what you are looking for. If you do not know what that is, then keep exploring. Doing that, you are bound to find your share of adventures.
      30. Before your first visit to the club, you will believe that is guarantees obvious disease, undetectable grime, and danger to all. Maaaaybe. But, you are probably just going to go to a cheap venue and love it anyway because you are in college now, homie.
      31. The Bush Science Center: what modern university buildings look like and where elevators look like the size of single dorms.
      32. The Grill often takes as long as Doms delivery, but offers Mrs. Mae milkshakes, so choose wisely.
      33. RCCs can be your best ally or your biggest hassle depending on your attitude and workload.
      34. Rollins Confessions is our mini Netflix; watch the drama unfold and know that school officials are watching, too. Hehe . . . no, seriously.

      35. There is nothing like the frustrated, toweled tenant standing in the drafty hall because their R-Card was left in their room. Ah, college problems.
      36. During Move-In Day, you may be in awe/mildly distraught by all the beautiful people; know that you are not alone.
      37. If a class interests you, take it and you may reroute your life plans. Do not be scared to stray from your original path. Just take tons of intro courses and get a feel for the fields that intrigue you.
      38. If you challenge yourself, you will learn things in class and, depending on your teacher, you will learn about things that will actually be useful out of a classroom. #PlotTwist

      39. The room with the bass is the base of socializing: follow the speakers.
      40. If you can read this whole list, then you can read your textbooks that you paid for. Plus, you cannot even list all your upcoming experiences in one list. You will have to find most of it out for yourself. Cheers, freshie.
Lauren Cooper

About Lauren Cooper

Lauren Cooper '17 is majoring in Communication Studies at Rollins College. Her publications include The Sandspur and The Independent.

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