Sexperts: Faking It Between the Sheets

March 28, 2013 Columns, Opinion, Sexperts

Lying about the big O is a common manipulation among women. These calculated responses during sex occur more than one may think.

Faking it is inevitable. As a woman, how many times have you told a white lie to your best friend about whether or not her butt looked fat in her new jeans? It’s not as if this slight stray from the truth is an indicator of your typical moral outlook; history has proven that when it comes to your close friends complete honesty is not always the best policy. NBC News recently reported on an interesting study uncovered in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, a peer-reviewed academic journal in sexology, claiming that the little white lies that tend to slip out in the form of “ohmygoddddd” or “yessyessyess” in bed have a similar origin within the female psyche. This study showed that 80% of the women surveyed uttered groans of sexual gratification, not due to all encompassing feelings of pleasure but actually for more manipulative and calculated reasons.

In a nutshell, women make these orgasmic vocalizations in order to direct their partners towards doing exactly what they want. The most common manipulation was focused on speeding things up due to the mood killers (“boredom, fatigue, discomfort, or time limitations,” cited the study). Interestingly enough, when women were actually on the verge of the big O, which was reported as being primarily while receiving oral sex, they made little to zero vocalizations at all. Indeed, 94% of all participants claimed that making these faux ooohs and ahhhs boosted their partner’s confidence in the bedroom and 84% admitted faking it specifically with that purpose in mind as well. These findings did not surprise Charlene Mauehlenhard, professor of clinical psychology at University of Kansas who pioneered a 2009 study in the Journal of Sex Research, called “Men’s and Women’s Reports of Pretending Orgasm.” This study focused on the idea that men and women are apt to follow scripted roles when it comes to sex. “Men are supposed to give a woman an orgasm and her orgasm proves the quality of his work,” stated Mauehlenhard. The fact that women do not ejaculate causes men to seek those gratifying moans of satisfaction in order to know whether or not they have succeeded in their sexual mission.

Some believe this action and reaction sequence can be traced back to its evolutionary roots. In a 2008 study published in the Proceedings of the Royal Society, the Royal Society’s flagship biological research journal, discovered that female Macaques “influence the likelihood of ejaculation by calling versus remaining silent and by adjusting the timing of the call onset.” Basically, the more noise the female made during intercourse the more thrusting the males engaged in. Sounds familiar, right? Obviously, this centuries-old tradition is not going anywhere anytime soon. Men think they know what women want, and vice versa. If women keep playing actress between the sheets, advances in sexual arousal can never be made. But seriously, if you are already butt naked and having sex with someone, what is so hard about vocalizing whether or not you like what is going on? That seems like the easy and less invasive part if you ask me. Who wants to go through all that effort for lackluster results? White lies don’t translate well when it comes to sex, do yourself a favor and save them for your best friend’s clothing inquiries.

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