Sexperts: Let’s Play a Love Game

Steven unveils a steamy set of sensual games that are sure to add a little spice to your relationship. From getting scantily clad with Snapchat to rolling some naughty dice, game night just got a whole lot more interesting.

So, you’re bored with your sex? To quote Sweet Brown, a woman who has gripped America with her wisdom, humor, and relevance, “Ain’t nobody got time fuh that!” Nobody got time for lame sex. Just going through the motions is a waste of a condom.

Sex is about fun, making lots of noise, and feeling a million little butterflies in your stomach. Thus, I have made it my mission this day to save those of you who have fallen into a sexual rut, those of you who have been living off just a few humps every couple days.

Today I would like to broaden your sexperiences and introduce you to the world of sex games. The realm of sex gaming is one that is not often discussed, a fact that has become apparent to me as I pollute my Google search bar with questionable terms looking for examples of sex games. As a self-proclaimed sexpert, I find this upsetting and have taken it upon myself to contribute to the paltry pool of sex game suggestions.

To begin, I would like to propose a game of my own invention: Snapchat Scandal. The rules are pretty straightforward. You and your partner begin by locking yourselves in separate rooms. It is preferable to choose rooms that were previously unoccupied. Now make sure both of you have Snapchat installed on your phones. At this point, I would like to point out that Snapchat has successfully guarded against all the downsides of sexting I discussed in my debut article, making it rather safe for a game like this. Next, send one another sexy snaps back and forth.

Get the passion bubbling by taking off one article of clothing at a time. Make your significant other thirst for your skin by making yourself look absolutely delectable. Show off everything that they love to see until they come and beat down your door. As soon as your ravenous eyes catch each other, the game is over, but the real fun has just begun. And the best thing is that there are no losers. If you don’t have a smart phone capable of Snapchatting, that’s okay. Despite the fact that you’re still living in the 20th century, you can still have next level sex.

For this next game, you’ll need to grab a pair of dice. There are dice made especially for this game sold at Spencer’s and other risqué vendors, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with fashioning your own right at home. Each side of one die will correspond to a different body part, usually ones with sexual value, and each side of the other die will correspond to a sensual action.

Take turns rolling the dice with your partner. Each roll will tell you exactly what to do to which part of your partner’s body, so those of you who are lacking in creativity can enjoy more unorthodox techniques and methods of pleasure. The benefit of making these dice at home is that you can tailor the dice to represent exactly what you and your partner like. Why don’t you each make a pair of dice for yourselves exploiting all of your most sensitive areas and what you want done to them? Then try swapping dice to experience what your partner enjoys. Both of you can learn about each other’s preferences, hot spots, and maybe find some of your own that you never knew existed.

The last game is for those of you who used to have wild sex, but for some reason it’s just become a routine insertion. You guys have all the techniques at your disposal, but have failed to exercise them for the past few days, weeks, months.

For this game, all you need is a kitchen timer. Set that baby for 30 minutes and don’t go for actual penetration until you hear it buzz. Instead, bring back all the foreplay that used to make sex so amazing. Remember what its like to explore each other’s bodies and rekindle the flame. By the time the timer hits 15 minutes, things will be hot and heavy, and by the time it gets to 29 minutes, you’ll be dying to dive into each other full force.

There are fun sex games for absolutely everyone. Join the digital age, take a chance and toss the dice, or just revive what has lain shelled up within your rusty libido. Make up your own games with your own rules. Do something to keep things alive and supremely erotic. And have fun.

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