Dear Editor,
As the first day of school approached and the first-years moved into their new homes for the year, the new issue of The Sandspur was in every place imaginable. The paper was even slid under every door in McKean. I was curious to see what was in store. As I flipped through the pages, I found helpful articles, the reviews of B&B Junction, and other informative articles that can help students explore more of their campus and the greater Orlando area through the Lynx bus system. However, I came across The Sexperts column: “The Art of Dorm Sex”. The title itself is provocative and edgy, but what I read was by no means informative or presented in a fashion that would be friendly to all.
I had many issues with this particular piece. Let’s start with the beginning:
“Further, the incessant smell of vomit that plagues McKean hall is hardly the romantic aroma you are craving.” Has the author of this article been to McKean Hall at all? Maybe you lived here in your first year of college, and maybe you had a bad experience in this building where someone threw up. That doesn’t mean that the building itself is covered with vomit, or that its walls are forever emanating the smell. The Office of Residential Life is and has worked tirelessly to improve upon the halls, and their efforts are going unrecognized by this type of commentary.
This article also had some slut-shaming: “There are proper ways to sexile, along with horror stories of roommates being woken and thrown out at four in the morning. Don’t be that guy, no one likes that guy except for slutty girls.” What do slutty girls like other than those kinds of guys? What exactly constitutes a slutty girl? How many guys/girls must one have slept with in order to be one? Is there a handbook that I need to acquire?
But my BIGGEST issue in this article was this: “To prevent loud moaning try to keep your partner quiet. Some of my girl friends have reported that guys have pressed their hands to their mouths or even slapped them to keep from being heard through the paper-thin walls. While some people may enjoy this, most are not into kinky gag-and-bound sex, so it becomes important to simply remind your partner verbally to keep quiet.” I wish there would have been some trigger warnings beforehand, as there were some individuals on campus that were triggered by this section. I ask that The Sandspur be more considerate of their audience, of whom they know nothing about, and of the experiences they have had (particularly when it comes to sex and sexual assault). No differentiation was made, until the end, between a fetish/kink and assault, when the author spoke of slapping and covering the girl’s mouth. I recognize that the author clarified his point at the end, but it was still not okay. Please emphasize communication between partners more – that part was sprinkled around in this article. Communication is key.
I would like to reiterate that this is not a personal attack on the author; it was a critique on his take on the matter. I appreciate that he has opened up a dialogue about sex with the campus, something which is not often done and is much needed. However, it must be done in such a way that is considerate of its audience, and aware of how to convey the message of being sex-positive, given the image and perception of sexual intercourse within the patriarchy.
-Luz Cabrera
Class of 2015
Dear Luz-
Answering this in my official capacity as Production Manager, I am greatly appreciative of your comments and opinions regarding this column. The Sexperts is intended to open a frank discussion about sexuality and campus life, and your response indicates that this purpose is being fulfilled. In regards to the issue of sensitivity, I agree that it is important to respect the reader’s background but, as you noted, this issue was made clear at the end of the paragraph. Finally, the Sexperts column does emphasize communication between partners, as seen throughout past columns in volume 119 of The Sandspur.
-David Matteson
Production Manager
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The opinions articles on this website do not necessarily reflect those of The Sandspur, its staff or Rollins College.
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