New Sidewalk Saves Shoes

and February 1, 2013 Features

We’d like to take a moment to express our sincerest gratitude to Rollins for replacing the dirt path with a new sidewalk by the Bush Science Center. You all know this patch of dirt we’re talking about: the diagonal strip that you cut through walking from the parking garage to campus. There was a sidewalk there already, of course. But it was in a perpendicular arrangement, and since we never traverse on sidewalks that are perpendicularly arranged, we always had to walk diagonally across the dirt to the other sidewalk. This act soiled six pairs of our matching white Armani shoes, which naturally made us a bit strapped for cash, which we can assure you is something that we’re not used to dealing with.

Over break, this splendid diagonal sidewalk was built. Coming back to Rollins and discovering it felt like Christmas all over again. It was a late night when we discovered it, walking to the parking garage to hop in our Range Rover and make a quick trip to Publix for the lemon tonic water mixer and caviar we had unfortunately run out of. I am not going to go so far as to say the experience was a spiritual one, but the moment we saw that glorious slab of concrete could have sent us to our knees in an expression of devout intervention of the gods of decadence, complete with the descent of the Holy Spirit of Cash Money.

No one can say Rollins isn’t tuned in to the needs of its students. The administration clearly registers the need of students for an adaptive and comfortable environment along with relevant academics. Is it wrong to want both? We don’t think so. And we appreciate Rollins for agreeing with us. With all of the students in the same mindset as us, the area proved too constantly trampled to manicure and landscape. Eventually they would have been forced to put in the sidewalk, since that area is on the edge campus and obviously vital to the community’s impression of our institution. Now the area can be beautified and used to its full potential.

Thank goodness for this new diagonal sidewalk. Although the sidewalk might be viewed by some as a completely unnecessary expenditure, it is actually integral to our Rollins experience. We are sure our butlers are also quite thrilled, as they won’t have to fly out to Italy to custom order any more pairs of our Armani shoes.

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