In addition to Rollins’ numerous ongoing capital campaigns, the school has recently received a $40 Million donation to repaint every single blade of grass on Mills Lawn the world’s most luxurious shade of green. The donation comes from an anonymous alumnus who hopes to attract more students to the school.
The lawn, sorry, the green, is to be painted “Effervescent Pistachio” a proprietary shade of green developed by artist Anish Kapoor and the United Kingdom’s National Physics Laboratory, both known for their other proprietary color, Vantablack. The use of “Effervescent Pistachio” in public spaces requires annual royalties to be paid to the creator in perpetuity. Each use costs $3.50 per year, which comes out to a nice, even $40 million to cover the 11,428,571 blades of grass on mills lawn the green.
The shade is said to evoke an Instagram-friendly love of nature as well as a Apple-Pay friendly love of cold, hard, cash. “This will be a huge boon for the college” said one admissions official. “Research has indicated that students no longer pick their college based on size, location, academic rank, or any of that other boring stuff. No, today, kids pick their colleges base on which has the prettiest lawn green, and biggest, most expensive, imported Italian marble archway. And on those fronts, ol’ Rolly Colly is looking pretty spiffy” they continued.
In other news, tuitions going up again soon.
April Fools!! The content in this article is meant to be read in satire and does not represent the opinions of The Sandspur, its staff, or Rollins College.