No need for condoms: Sexpert Steven breaks down the proper technique of penetration-free sex.
Sex. We’ve all got a definition for it, some of which are informed by religious texts, while others rely on what they heard on Lifetime at 2:30 a.m. Others depended on the golden scrap of knowledge they overheard from that weirdo that sat behind them on the bus back in 7th grade. Some schools of thought believe that what can be classified as sex are those acts that have been tagged as so by the English language: oral, anal, and vaginal. Some believe that only good ol’ penis-in-vagina penetration counts as sex. I think that everything is sex.
What better word is there for catching that stranger’s glance and knowing exactly what’s running through their mind? Or how about a casual brush of skin against the person you’ve been admiring for some time? I can assure you that these small acts, these flits of quick passion, arouse all the same faculties as full-blown intercourse. And what makes them even more sexual is their ephemerality. Hairs stand, yearning to caress that skin again. Blood rushes, filling your veins with those chemicals that burst open the fragile cage of butterflies lying in your stomach. Our definition of sex must be expanded to include the precious steps leading up to the act itself. To aid in that, I offer important lessons concerning these behaviors that suffer outside the umbrella of what is commonly thought of as sex. Specifically, I will outline the methods of what many like to call eye sex (not to be confused with optical penetration).
Eye sex is one of the simplest and most powerful forms of sex. Our eyes are constantly feeding on our environment, making them a perfect target for slick, nonverbal flirting. Whether it’s an acquaintance or a complete stranger, there is no limit to whose pupils you can capture as long as you have the proper technique. Eye sex is a lot like fishing: sometimes you have to leave the bait out there for a while before you get a bite. To begin eye sexing, long gazes are often in order. I’m not talking about some Clockwork Orange, tape on the eyes stuff. Be completely not creepy and just cast your eyes towards your target for a solid three seconds. If they didn’t look, just try again. They’ll have absolutely no idea.
Once contact has been made, maintain it for a comfortable half-second and then casually flick your gaze off in any direction. To see if it’s an actual hit, repeat the process a second time and gauge their interest. Facial expressions will tell you whether they’re scared of you or their eyes are just as thirsty. If they go for the hook the second time, the next step is to keep them snagged. Slip a sultry smile on before you look over. Let them catch you sizing them up. Toss your eyes over while you giggle at your friend’s joke that you didn’t hear because you’re too focused on eye sex. All will serve as the perfect lure, placing you at the pinnacle of their ocular interest.
Soon their eyes will be glued to you and it’s time to reel it in. If this eye sex is to reach its climax, at least one of two techniques must be employed: the wink or the eyebrow raise. Winking has all the charm of a 1950’s diner without all the grease. A quick wink will deliver the message while maintaining your class and displaying your spectacular eyelid control. Eyebrow raises are for the bold, allowing you to effortlessly assert your sexuality and intent. Either will serve to lead the recipient over to you and on to your bedroom. Although eye sex is fun and flirty, it cannot act as a substitute for the pure physicality it ideally leads to.