Sexperts: Sexual Boredom

One student explores the reason for society’s fascination with sex and whether it’s necessary.

Every so often I meet someone whose opinions are so different than my own that I become inspired. That’s exactly how the following article came to be.

I met Tasha through our Theories in Gender and Sexuality class—where we discuss everything from sex with furniture to celebrity sex tapes. Tasha and I frequently engage in class discussions, and while our opinions do not always coincide, we continue to interact in a respectful manner.

As you will read below, Tasha questions society in a unique and feisty manner. Her cultural criticisms are well-rounded and top-notch, and her voice is both clear and persuasive. As a reader, I admire her bravery in standing up to social pressures rather than simply following the status quo.

I asked Tasha to guest write because I knew she would deliver an article that was entirely different from previous Sexperts columns. In this sense she is successful; she proclaims that our society needs to simply move past its fascination with sex.

Before you begin reading, let me conclude this introduction with an Oscar Wilde quote our professor introduced on the first day of class: “Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” The following column begs the question: Should sex really be that powerful?
David Matteson
Senior Sexpert

 

Why are we still talking about sex?

Sex is overrated. Yeah that’s right; overdone, overused, and I’m over it. Before you start turning the page because you’re thinking “this girl just doesn’t get laid” or “she has no idea what she’s talking about”, hear me out.

Think of this: when you go watch a movie in the theatre or at home cuddling up to your snuggie, almost any film you decide to see has the element of sex.

Action/adventure movies have the explosions, the Bruce Willis character, and hardcore sex scenes; romantic comedies have corny jokes, a plethora of flowers, and an incredible amount of sexual tension between the two leads; and let’s not forget about dramas where there are not only plot twists, mentally or spiritually profound characters, but also sex portrayed as art.

I’m not saying you choose these movies for the sole purpose that the element of sex is either explicitly there or intricately woven in the dialogue, but sex is undeniably everywhere in the media.

With all these movies, songs, billboards, magazines, commercials, I mean you name it, you almost grow up wanting to have sex or feeling pressured to want to have it.

I definitely grew up dreaming of a Prince Charming picking flowers for me and deflowering me. Finding love was never easy and finding a person to screw me was even harder. Whenever a guy felt the need to take our “friendship” to the “next level”, I would scare them out of that idea at the drop of the word “virgin” from my mouth. It came to the point where I had stupidly and impulsively decided to end the socially constructed idea of virginity, of my virginity, with a deadbeat loser. Was it worth it? Not at all.

This culture that we’re brought up in pushes this idea of sex being the final goal in a movie and ultimately our lives; I mean isn’t that what you sometimes root for in a movie? For the two lead characters to bang?

We read, we hear, and we see so much sex in our lives and in the end, it really is all for the show.

Sex can be great and truly amazing, don’t get me wrong. It can be enjoyable and you might desire more of it each and every time, but it’s not life-fulfilling. It shouldn’t be.

Our society is expecting everyone to give in to sex younger, faster, and without meaning. We share our stories about how we lost our virginities to deadbeat losers with such pride. How about sharing stories about how we haven’t lost our virginities yet? How about sharing stories with pride about the fact that you are saving yourself for someone special? How about sharing stories with dignity about the fact that you really have no intention of having sex anytime soon because you simply just don’t want to?

We need to hear these stories and we need to hear them loud and proud.

I feel as if we live in a juvenile state in our lives where it’s all sex or no sex , and people have to identify with just one group. How about getting along? How about not bashing people for not having sex or for having sex? Is that really so radical? Or maybe you’re just a
pig.

Growing up and searching for sex is exhausting and emotionally draining at times, and all for what? In the end, you might not get what you want. Instead of focusing all our energy on trying to fit in, on trying to beat world records, on trying to accomplish some bet, or trying to fill some void deep inside, why don’t we all just reorganize our thoughts and opinions and realize that sex really is overrated, overdone, overused, and you really are just over it.

The opinions on this page do not necessarily reflect those of The Sandspur, its staff or Rollins College.

Information! Read more Sexperts here.

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