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New President Eliminates Fox Day




foxThough the faculty, administrators, and students of Rollins College were originally supportive of the decision of Grant Cornwell as the next president, his recently announced plans have made many reconsider. Most shockingly, Cornwell plans to get rid of Fox Day to save the campus money.

“Fox Day is the best. I cannot believe he wants to take it away. Like, I was looking forward to going to the beach with my friends. Now, I guess I’ll have to go on the weekend or something. Ugh,” said Daisy Lou, who graduates in 2019 (hopefully).

Cornwell thinks that Fox Day is an added expense that gives the students too much joy, when they could be spending their day working. Instead of Fox Day, Cornwell plans to implement a new holiday, tentatively called “Study Hard Day!” This will also be a random day in the spring semester, but instead of taking the day off, all students will be required to attend extra classes and spend all free time working in the library.

The library café will offer half-priced coffee as an incentive to work hard.

“I’ll need half-priced alcohol to cope with no Fox Day,” joked Dill Pickle ’16.

One Comment

  1. Logan Gore Logan Gore

    I died a little inside until I opened the link in the email.
    Very funny nonetheless.
    Thanks for the laugh/heart attack,


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