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New Year, New You

A promising practice of wannabe health nuts and gym sluts alike, New Years resolutions are consistently centered on weight loss and fitness. But behind the impractical promises of “lose fifty pounds” or the vague “eat healthier” vows, lies an ugly truth: in 2012, only 8% of Americans actually followed through with their resolutions, while the rest threw in the gym towel. To help transform that false hope of a healthy year into the reality of a healthy you, here are some no-nonsense tips:

BINGE DRINKING is a likely culprit of your weight gain and fated failure of your foolproof New Years resolution. Despite being a key food group in the traditional college diet, (followed by Park Ave Pizza) cheap beer is a breeding ground for simple carbohydrates: more appropriately named, “bad carbs,” simple carbs are made up of simple sugar structures that pass through your system quickly, leaving you hungry and bloated. Pabst Blue Ribbon, a personal favorite of mine in the cheap beer category, averages 12 grams of carbs and 144 calories per can. After five brews, the average number of drinks a college freshman will consume, you’re guzzling down 60 grams of carbs and 720 calories. Next time you reach into your mini fridge, trade in the PBR for an organic red wine.

LOOK HOT NAKED Sorry, beer pong does not count as physical activity, but you don’t have to be an iron-pumping Varsity athlete to get that exercise-induced endorphin rush. Alfond Sports center offers a collection of FREE evening workout classes to faculty and students: from the orthodox total body workout classes to the ever-trending Zumba fitness, Alfond fitness classes accommodate all skill levels. Due to the encouragement and support a group setting offers, people who attend fitness classes, as opposed to working out as individuals, have higher success rates in weight loss. So cut the tags off of your Lululemon yoga pants and hit the gym.

In 2012, only 8% of Americans actually followed through with their resolutions.

DAVE’S DOWN THUNDER THIGHS Mozzarella sticks and a double order of curly fries may seem to be the perfect Friday night fix, but behind all of that greasy goodness are high amounts of sodium that will leave you bloated and gassy, not to mention low on meal plan money. An average serving of mozzarella sticks totals over 900 mg of sodium, and that’s without the essential marinara sauce. A single order of curly fries rings in at over 800 mg of sodium. Together, this dangerous duo surpasses the recommended daily intake of sodium by 100 mg. Save the greasy food for the occasional hangover remedy and you may just save a few pounds, and your kidneys.

For a final, heart-racing, sweat-inducing calorie killer: orgasm.

SEXERCISE Yes, sex burns calories. According to Women’s Day magazine, just a half hour of sex can burn over 144 calories. To get the most out of this workout, it is recommended to engage in extended periods of foreplay beforehand: as foreplay builds anticipation in both partners, heart rates rise ensuring an effective cardio workout. Switching positions often also boosts calorie burning, not to mention, it feels pretty good. For a final, heart-racing, sweat-inducing calorie killer: orgasm, orgasm multiple times. So find a, um, workout buddy, sexile the roommate, and make love, not love handles.

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